February 11, 2015 (original post here)
It’s no secret that I have a lot to complain about and it’s no secret that I enjoy complaining. However, this morning I woke up and it hit me. Now that I’m almost done with school, all I can think about is whether or not I’m going to get what I truly want from going to college.
Continuing you education is an expensive endeavor and we’re told to think about it as an investment in our future. An investment. When I think about what I’m willing to invest in I think of things that I want and in the long run it’ll pay off for itself. I invested in a Keurig because I wanted it and I know it’ll save me money since I won’t buy Starbucks everyday. I invested in a car because I knew that it would be able to bring me to a job where I would be able to make money. I invested in my education because I was told to.
I didn’t really save up the money to go to college and I didn’t really have the want to go to school. I didn’t like the idea of going to college because I honestly didn’t know what I wanted to do and I didn’t really enjoy school. I researched colleges and I looked into different career fields and I finally settled on something. I wasn’t entirely excited to start college and I wasn’t really excited to move. I would’ve loved to just stay back and chill. However, that would never happen. I ended up actually enjoying my major and I didn’t really mind my college experience.
The one big thing that I’m wondering is if I’m actually going to get that college dream. Which is getting a job that I love. Keyword is love. I was told that going to college and getting my degree will unlock so many doors for me and will get me to a career that I will find worthwhile. Sure, college has opened doors for me, but I’m finding it more difficult to believe that I will actually find a career that I love. I always hear about grads finding their dream job and building themselves with a career that they love, and how they love showing up to work. I want that I want to be able to wake up and be excited about going into work. I want to find it difficult for me leave work because I enjoy it. I want those things; I want that dream.
I want that dream that was promised to me; that when I graduate from college I’m going to find my dream job. However, I’m afraid that I won’t be able to find that for myself.