April 28, 2015 (original post here)
As we go through life, we end up falling into situations that cause us some type of pain. Sometimes emotionally or psychologically, and unfortunately, even physically. I’m not going to pretend that I know what it’s like to live with all these different scars because I’ve never been in those types of situations, but I have been hurt.
Moving on is the most difficult thing, especially when it’s dealing with romantic relationships. Your “normal” is no longer there and everything that you became used to is gone. In the past, I’ve been lied to, cheated on, and left to feel like I’m not worth fighting for. It hurts and I’m sure if you’ve been in a similar situation, you could probably relate to feeling like your worthless and nobody values/cares for you. It’s painful and you go about life (for a while) thinking that nobody cares about you and you’re not worth loving.
When you go into these types (romantic) of relationships, it’s the scariest thing. You basically give the other person everything they need to hurt you in ways nobody else can. Once you get hurt, you try to recover and you try to put the pieces back together. However, you’re never the same and you carry these pains (scars) with you and there’s always a little voice in the back of your head giving you reasons why things will never work. It’s a constant struggle.
No matter how difficult, you need to find something that makes you smile and you need to find people to surround yourself with, people who will want to help you through it. Like I said, the scars never leave you and they do change the way you view things, but the best way to overcome it is to distract your mind from bringing up those thoughts and memories. Those thoughts and memories need to stay in the past. Focus on all the good that is happening and focus on yourself. Do things to indulge yourself a little and take the time to pamper yourself. Or do something to reinvent yourself like getting a new hairstyle or hair color. Try something new with your makeup. Just do something to reinvent yourself so you can have a new beginning and find that little piece of happiness and be selfish about it.
Don’t let your scars define who you are. Use them as a source of strength and knowledge. I believe that when you figure out how to be happy, and I mean truly happy, on your own and you’re enjoying your life, you’ll have that one person come along who will change everything. You will find that one person who was worth all the pain, the scars, and all the tears. That person will make every scar worth it. But a word of caution. Don’t look back. Don’t bring up those old emotions and thoughts because that’s when doubt will creep into your mind.
Focus on the future that you’re building with that special person and when your friends or family members a learning to recover from their hurt, show them your scars and help them put the pieces back together.