[LIFE] Money

Slowly but surely money is becoming something that controls me. I used to tell people that no amount of money that I would get paid would be worth being unhappy. Right now, I’m a hypocrite. Though I enjoy the people that I work with, the actual work just isn’t for me. If you follow my blog, you’ll know that I would love to pursue blogging full time. I enjoy the ability to be creative and talk about whatever I want to and I enjoy connecting to others. 

There was a time where I would’ve quit my job immediately. How do I know this? Because I’ve done it before. When my internship turned into a part-time job, though I was making a good amount of money, I hated going in to work every single day and I’m talking about extreme hate. I would curse, under my breath, from the first step I took out of my car up to the moment I opened the door to the building.

After about two weeks on the job, I quit. I told myself not amount of money could keep me at that job because of how miserable I was every single day I went in. So what’s stopping me from doing that now?

There are a lot of things that are affecting my decision:

  • I don’t want to let my employer down. She seemed so happy and excited to have had me join and I feel like if I quit, it’d just be a huge disappointment for her.
  • I recently invested in a new car, so that means I have monthly payments I need to make and I also pay my parents for my portion of the car insurance.
  • My student loans also begin. So I need to start paying off that as well.
  • The pay makes it easier on my family because they don’t have to worry about having to pay for any of the things that I need and I also have my own medical benefits as well.
  • I eventually want to move out, but I’ve done some calculating and I’ll need more to be able to do that.

The money that I get from this job, allows me to help my family, but I much rather put my efforts into my blog. I regret how much I complained about working my retail job. I wish I could go back to that time and enjoy it.

I never thought that money would be such a huge factor. I’m 23 years old and I’m so unhappy with the path I’m going on. I wish that I could be this wanderlust and just be in the moment. Instead, I’m so busy dreading work that I can barely be present.

XOXO,

ciaociao808

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