Hi! Hi! Hi!
I woke up today and started my day how I usually do, which is dreading every moment and waiting for the day to be over. On my way in, I hope that I get sick or something happens just so I don’t have to go in (pretty sad right?) and once I get there, I go through the routine.
Today I was unusually busy, which is very rare. There was very little time for me to go off daydreaming, but I just got mentally exhausted from thinking about everything that I need to schedule and on top of that trying to keep my boss up to date with everything she needs to do.
Afterwards I went to the gym and on one of the TVs CNN was airing and I saw the story about the shootings in California. Personally, I’m afraid to go anywhere. I’m afraid to go the malls, the movies, the casinos/hotels, etc. I’m just afraid because anything can happen. Some of you may say, “You can’t live in fear,” and I know that, but it’s always at the back of my mind. I can’t tell you how many times I would sit in my college classes and try to figure out how I would get out of a shooting. Sometimes when I’m in church I just try figure out where someone would put a bomb or where they would enter – and I try to figure out what I’m going to do.
Then it dawned on me, this is what some people go through every single minute of their lives. They live in undeniable fear. No one is there to hear their cries or to help. I don’t know how they do it.
Here I was wishing that I would get sick so I wouldn’t have to go in, but some of those who are either gone or are living in constant fear/war-zone areas would beg to be in the spot that I am in now. They would give up everything they have in order to wake up this morning and have a family, a significant other, friends, a job, etc.
Now, I can’t lie and say that I’m going to completely change my way of thinking because I won’t. However, at the end of each night, I want to count my blessings and pray for a new day.
My middle sister, who has downs syndrome drew the coolest thing in art class today, I always love her drawings, and she showed it to me. All I could think about was that these are the moments that matter the most. Out of everything that I could be doing this is what’s important.
Today, I ask that you pray for those who were affected by the shootings in California and I also ask that you pray for those who are living in a war-zone. Nobody deserves to live in fear because it’s worst than hell. To be afraid for your life every single day is no way to live. So I ask that you pray for them, and if you don’t pray, think about them.
p.s. I really hoped this made sense. I’m honestly so sleepy my eyes are half-open as I’m typing this!